{Almost} Lost

Tonight we went downtown to have supper and to the Annual Christmas Tree lighting. We went with our friends {the ones we went to Mexico with}. It was so much fun. Except that Isaac almost got lost in the huge crowd. I hate that feeling: when your stomach drops and your heart stops beating and your head is trying to solve the problem but all you can think is "OMG my kiddo is gone!" It happened in a split second. One moment he was here and the next he was not. I started calling his name, my friend did too and even the surrounding people started helping out. And then, he came running towards us with my friend's older son. Apparently he had been with Isaac the whole time, but none of us knew. Thank goodness for that 10 year old guardian angel! He had been paying attention when none of the adults had and made sure we didn't loose Isaac within the mass of people. And I have to do something about his snowsuit. One of the dads that was helping us out {which happened to be the Dad of one of the girls in Maddie's class}pointed out that he was camouflaged, which made it that much harder to see him in the crowd. So I need to sew on some reflective material or get him a bright hat...or something. I am so thankful tonight was a great night and that we came home happy and with all of our kiddos.

Random Monday Thoughts

Isaac went down for his nap surprisingly easy. I got him ready, put him in his crib, sang him a song and said "Good Nap, I love you", left his room, heard him say, "No, no, I don't want to go to sleep." but have not heard a peep since. He's a silly boy...he is so tired and fights it most days, but today it was a peaceful event. He's cutting his 2 year molars {finally} and I know that has been contributing to his behaviour recently. On Sunday at nap time, he called out, "Daddy, Daddy, come! Something's happening in here!" and pointed to his mouth. Ken checked and sure enough he has cut the two bottom ones...surely the top ones are on their way too.

We had some dear friends over for supper on Saturday and it was so fun. I always feel slightly embarrassed when people tell me I'm good at being a Mama...and coming from my friend was no exception. I replied, "I'm certainly not perfect. I do lose it sometimes and I have been known to yell." My friend said, "I don't believe it" and asked Maddie lightheartedly, "Does your Mommy yell at you?" She smiled and shook her head and said, "Nope." The truth is I do yell sometimes. Like when Isaac has hit Elsa or Maddie for the umpteenth time or when they get into something I've repeatedly said not to touch. But it melted my heart to hear Maddie saying that I didn't. When I prodded her further on her response she said she felt I never yelled at her. I suppose I interpret this to mean she doesn't feel hurt on those occasions when I have yelled. I don't know what I'm trying to say here...I suppose it's just that this is the first time someone has asked my daughter about me third hand...and it was interesting for me to hear her response of how she views me. Perhaps she was in a good mood and on another occasion if she was asked the same question she would produce a different answer!?!? Who knows, but I do believe and have experienced first hand how much kiddos live in the present...so in that very moment all was well in her little world and she had a Mommy who never yells.

Elsa's been a bit fussy lately. She doesn't settle calmly after her 4am feed and is restless, and I don't get to sleep, even though she's sleeping. It might be gas, but maybe she's teething. She has been very drooly and chewing on her hands like crazy. Who knows! I just hope I can find a trick to help her sleep more peacefully in those early morning hours, because I can't be awake from 4am onward when I have 2 other kiddos to take care of! I'm thinking a bottle of Chamomile tea will be on my nightstand tonight.

I have no idea why I feel this way, but I miss being pregnant. Crazy, I know. This is a topic for a whole other {long} post, but how am I ever going to say and feel I am done having babies? I remember being a little girl and dreaming of the day I would have my own babies. I am so blessed and beyond grateful for my beautiful kiddos, but I don't know how to turn off that innate feeling of wanting to bear and raisechildren. Who or what turns that off? Does it ever turn off?

Well, that's all the time I have. Isaac and Elsa are sleeping {the latter in a ring sling on my chest} so maybe I should try to get some ZZZ's or at least close and rest my eyes for a few minutes.

Boy Trouble

I've been having boy issues.

My little boy is:
- Smacking, hitting, pinching
- Refusing to eat at meal times even though he's super hungry
- Refusing to try going pee and poo on the potty (even though he has told us he wants to go)
- Still addicted to his soothers

I believe this is the age they call the "Terrible Two's"??? What I wasn't totally prepared for was how much more intense this age would be with a boy. Or maybe it's just my boy? I dunno, I have a feeling it's partially a boy thing. But also I know he's going through a lot. His older sister started school and is no longer around for most of the day to play with him. Plus, he now has a younger sister who demands my constant attention, and he feels a bit left out. I have been spending one-on-one time with him whenever I can, but I imagine he still feels a bit jealous. He can't control any of this stuff...so I think he's turning to things he can control...which are all of the things I listed above.

I know we will get through this phase of boy trouble. And I hope it's soon! In the meantime Isaac better be ready to be smothered with lots of hugs and kisses. And I better fill up my patience tank to max.

Birthday Boy

After a sunny, warm and beautiful week we awoke this morning to rain. Not just light showers, but a true down pouring. All the plans for Isaac's outdoor birthday party were laid to rest. So instead we had everyone come to our place. It was lots of fun! Grown-ups, big kids, little kids, babies and newborns all attended and shared in celebrating Isaac's 2nd birthday! I can't believe he's TWO! Seriously, this last year has zoomed by before my eyes.

Isaac had so much fun. He was his usual happy, rambunctious, jokester self and certainly was the centre of attention!

His long awaited Dino cake was a hit! He LOVED it and was quickly devoured.

 Despite being stuck inside, Maddie proclaimed "it was a great party!!!" And I agreed!

To my amazing little boy, I just want you to know that I am so proud of you! I love watching you grow and learn and smile and laugh. You truly bring so much joy and happiness into my heart and I am truly thankful for that. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I promise that I will always be here for you and do my very best at being your mommy. Happy Birthday sweet boy!!! May you have a wonderful year filled with happiness, discovery, adventure and fun!

Here are some pictures from the party. 

We took a lot of video, hopefully I can get that posted soon!

 {Isaac and Uncle C--note his "farmer tan...Hahaha!"}

 {Balloon Fun!}

 {Doing a little song and dance jig}

 {Opening his gifts}

{Smooch with Auntie Emma}

The Day Isaac Wore A Dress

Isaac's been picking out his clothes in the morning for a while now. Every day it's a bit of an ordeal to get him to pick out a shirt, let alone pants. He usually willingly picks out socks, though they are usually Maddie's. In fact, he loves to wear Maddie's clothes! Today, he went into her room to say good morning to her and on his way he happened to see the dress she had picked out to wear. He confiscated it and didn't let it go. Maddie agreed to let him wear it (sweet big sister she is!) and he wore a dress all day. We went shopping and to do errands and he was oblivious to the fact that he was a little boy in a dress...and I was happy that he was because it was awesome to just let him be and be happy. The funniest thing though was that he was still acting like his typical almost-two-year-old-little-boy-self and managed to get that dress good and dirty. I wish I had gotten a picture though!

Wordless Wednesday: Random Images of Our Life

{Laundry basket baby}

{As the Garden Grows}

{Picking and Eating Mint}

{Pre-bedtime Crankies}

{On Our Way to the Farmer's Market}

Peaceful Goodnight

I don't really have any amazing or insightful way to say what I'm feeling right now. I'm so tired and my brain is slow as molasses. But I did not want to forget.

Tonight Ken put Isaac to sleep as he always does if he's home, and then went out to go for a swim. Not five minutes had gone by when I heard little Isaac calling, "Daaadeeeee....Mommmeeeee..." I waited for a second. And he called again. So I quietly went into his room and asked, "Are you OK?" I heard him move his head to answer {nod or shake? not sure my eyes weren't adjusted yet!}. He was so quiet and peaceful that I knew he was super sleepy. So I made sure he was comfy and gave him his soothers {well he already had them but I checked} and then said, "Shhhhshhhh....it's OK...go to sleep." I left quietly. And of course as soon as I did, he started whimpering. It's always the case: Daddy does bedtime...no problem. All that he needs if he calls out is a reassuring cuddle and Daddy can just leave. Mommy does bedtime {or comes in after Daddy did bedtime} and he cries.

But that's OK. I don't mind. I went back in to find him sitting up. I said, "Mommy's going to cuddle and rock you, OK?" He nodded. So I scooped him up and sat in the rocker and sang {well, hummed} his favorite lullaby. He started dozing. But he was super squirmy. After 10 or 15 mins I could tell he was oh so relaxed. He sluggishly gestured toward his bed, and I knew he wanted to go there. So, I whispered to him, "I'm going to put you in your bed now. It's sleepy time." I laid him down and he rolled over and was out...on his way to dreamy land.

I was left with a sense of peace and calm. Especially knowing that he fell asleep content and calm...knowing I was there if he needed me.

It reminded me of those days not so long ago when I would wonder to myself, "Will he ever sleep through the night? Will he always need to be nursed and rocked forever to go to sleep?..."

And the answer was "No." But when you're in the moment and you're exhausted and drained and sometimes fed-up because the sleep deprivation has gotten to you...you just can't help but not see the that. See that they grow up much too fast. And slowly, but surely, they need you a tiny little bit less every day. First it's for simple little things...and before you know it they are asking to be put in their beds to go to sleep.

It's bittersweet really. I am so pleased and happy that all the caring and giving and nurturing we gave him {and continue giving him, of course!} during those sleep deprived months, helped him gain a sense of security and well-being, that he now feels happy {and actually wants to} go to sleep on his own.

On the other hand, I wish it didn't have to happen so fast. I want to soak up their little-ness and their sweet innocence and cuteness...all of it...yet I feel like the days trickle by, one by one, making them grow and change. So the only thing for me to do is enjoy every single moment, even the not-so-good ones and find a safe spot in my heart to keep those memories.

Is it Friday yet?

Weirdness is going on. I am feeling extremely emotional lately. And of course I'm taking it out on the one poor guy who has nowhere to run to. I did apologize to him today though...and I will again right now: Sorry lover...so sorry, it's totally not personal...you know, you so know.

It's just Monday and I already feel like it should be Friday and I should be gearing up for the weekend (although not any less busy, at least Ken is home during the day to help with the beautiful chaos children cause), plus weekends are the only days I get a good nap.

Alas, I will have to wait 4.5 more days.

Today, Isaac got into everything he has so far managed not to do (which is not a lot).

What am I supposed to do now that he's figured out how to open the childproofed cupboards? Those tiny little fingers...he's too smart for his own good!

He got a bag of salt out and ran away with it as I was in the middle of cooking and my hands were full of goop. Of course he made a split in the bag and the minuscule granules went everywhere. Needless to say, dinner was delayed, which made everyone even more cranky! Just can't win.

Oh also, he insists on asking for "canny", his word for candy, which he learned somehow (I'm sure from Maddie). I have managed so far to tell him their Vitamin C chewables are candy.

Maddie, the girl who usually naps forever and has to be woken up, had the crappiest nap today. Her cough woke her up and she couldn't go back to sleep. So I brought her into my bed and she wrote in the blank pages of my journal for an hour while I dozed. She is really showing an interest in writing and reading. It always amazes me how their marvelous brains work.

And to top the hectic, lunatic day that today was...Ken is on call and had to leave to do a surgery tonight. Thankfully, no, I should say THANKS BE TO THE KIND GODS, he was able to come home to eat, help with bath and bedtime before he had to leave.

And now the two beautiful high energy, question asking, candy demanding, salt spilling, little angels are fast asleep. And I will now fold their laundry and immediately go to bed...oh, right after the diapers finish in the wash.

Aaaah sleep how I want thee and will soon be with thee.

Here and There's

"What if the moon died?" Maddie asked me one day.
What a question...and how to answer it...?
To make everything more interesting, Isaac overheard and, because he apparently has a good memory, whenever someone says "moon" now he says "dies".
Last night I showed them the full moon and Isaac kept saying "dies, dies". He has no idea what that means. It's bizarre to hear a 19 month old saying that.

Today Ken made pizza for supper and he was surprised to hear Isaac saying "pizza". We had to stop ourselves from saying anything while eating dinner, afraid to jinx it, because Isaac actually ate his whole piece and asked for more. We have been having issues with eating lately. It's very hit and miss. Today was a hit!

Maddie actually cleaned up all the toys all by herself today. Usually she needs help. I was about to start helping her when she said, "It's OK mama, I can do it." She was so proud. I hope that feeling encourages her for future clean-up times.

A couple day's ago, Maddie gave me the best back massage ever. With cream and everything. She is amazing! I asked her where she learned and she just said, "I've always known." I said, "Wow. That's called being a natural." And she said, "Of course it is."

We put a pillow in Isaac's crib for the first time ever last night. A nice, flat pillow. But it helps him breath better now that he's all stuffed up. And I think he actually did sleep better. I remember around this age is when Maddie started sleeping with a pillow too.

And again I repeat, that I am not happy about how fast they are growing up.

Has anyone invented a way to slow down time yet?

Da!

Isaac is talking so much these days. He says new words every day and it makes me shake my head in disbelief because I still think he should be my little baby. Instead he's growing right before my eyes. I haven't decided if I like this or not!

The funniest thing is that he has made many words his own. Somehow. For example, he says "Yes" as "Da". He is totally saying "Yes" in Russian. How did he come to say it like this? I will always wonder.

Maybe he was Russian in a past life?

Midnight Pancake

Isaac has been waking up a little too often these last few nights. Usually he just needs a little reassurance and his soother (of course) and he's back off to sleep. But somethings been going on with him and all the usual tricks just weren't working. Ken is the one who gets up with him. If I do, the quick get-him-back-to-sleep plan turns into a huge ordeal (probably remnants for the breastfeeding days or maybe he just loves me too much, he doesn't want to see me go...?). And so I coach from the sidelines. We thought about teething, earache, cold/hot, dirty diaper, thirsty...we went through the list. Except for one thing. Hunger. It's been a long while since we've had to do middle of the night feedings. I finally suggested Ken go get something to feed him, so he did. He got a plain leftover pancake, warmed it up a little and fed the half asleep, laying down Isaac little pieces. He chewed slowly and then reached his little hand out for a drink.

It worked.

He didn't make a peep the rest of the night and we all got some rest.

He even slept in, which never happens

Wordless Wednesday

 {Little Motorcycle Dude}

Isaac wearing Daddy's motorcycle goggles and mommy's t-shirt, what more do you need to look cool?

{Goofy Princess}

Maddie warming up after playing out in the snow; hot chocolate was also being served.

A Fresh Week

I don't think I've ever been this happy to welcome a Monday before. Not to exaggerate, but the last week was quite horrendous. The flu hit our home, along with some other unexpected and painful ordeals. It's an understatement to say I am happy for it to be over. And instead of focusing on the bads I will retell a few of the most cutest things our kiddos have ever done...

Isaac, in bed with us, in the middle of the night, sick to the point of pure lethargy and vomiting every 20 minutes, would call out in a barely audible little voice, "Daddy...agua..." He was so thirsty, but the poor little guy couldn't keep anything down. I will never forget his little baby voice asking for agua.

Maddie holding my hair as I tossed my cookies into the toilet and then bringing me water.

Maddie saying, "Oh I hope I don't get this flu." And then the next day waking up, vomiting in her bed and saying, "I'm sorry, there was just no time at all to get my bucket. No time at all."

Even when faced with the grossest of moments, they are just so beyond adorable.

Lets hope this week is better than the last.

Wordless Wednesday

Wintertime Snapshots

 {Maddie's Art: A Snowman, some people and a Christmas Tree}

{Catching Snowflakes}

Little Jester

"Isaac, can you say Maddie? Come on, say Maddie"

Little face thinking, eyes shining with mischief he replies, "Elmo" and laughs.

This joke never gets old, and is applied to pretty much any question or request.

I wonder what things he'll come up with next.

Wordless Wednesday

{Dr. Isaac}

{Mi bella nena}

{Tear-Free} Santa Visit

Is it just me or isn't this the cutest? I can't get over their faces! Isaac is so serious and Maddie wants to smile, but isn't quite there. At least they didn't cry {I totally thought Isaac would}. Isaac even waved goodbye. When you ask him what Santa says, he says, "hohoho". Maddie told Santa she only wanted a Pocahontas toy, and nothing else. She picked out her dress too {and wore it with pink pants and golden sparkly shoes}.

Gosh darn I love them so much! 

Wordless Wednesday

{Candy Cane Eatin' Under The Tree}

Back story:

For some unknown reason they both gravitated toward the tree as soon as I gave them their piece of candy cane. It sure must be magical under there. I think there are even fairies cause they made my camera all dreamlike.

Knock-on-wood

My oh so cute petri dishes are all better now. Knock-on-wood. Maddie was the only one who was pukey and sick, I got a touch of whatever she had {minus the puking}, but just for a day, and Isaac just got a rash around his mouth and on his bum. I am thinking, and I could be wrong here, that they had hand foot and mouth. Again. For the third time. How many times can you get it? Sheesh!

Wordless Wednesday

{Sneak Peek of our Christmas Photo. All I have to say is: "Oh boys!"}