Thursday, August 19, 2010

My Grandma's Family Planning Chat

I love chatting with my Abuelita. I've always been fascinated by hearing stories from long ago; stories about my family's history and about what the world was like many years ago. And though her short term memory is far from perfect, she remembers the past quite well. Today, somehow we got talking about children and birth control. It all started with her making the statement, "You are not having any more children, right?" I smiled and said, "Actually I do want more. I just don't feel like my family is complete." She's asked me this on several occasions since having Maddie. Sometimes I wonder if she is trying to convince me to not reproduce anymore!

She has 3 children. My dad is her youngest. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to find out more information. I found out that after having her first two (a daughter and son) she and my grandpa were happy; they were a complete family. However, they never truly did anything to prevent pregnancy in the way of contraception. I prodded her on this and she said that she basically kept track of her cycles. So basically she said they were both aware that if a pregnancy happened they would accept it. So they lived for around 3 years as a family of 4. Then one day she found out she was pregnant. Of course they were thrilled. But it certainly was a surprise. An oops baby. My dad.

It's funny to think of how things happen. If he hadn't been born, then I wouldn't have. Truly things happen for a reason cause I'm ecstatic about being around. Hahaha!

Our conversation also included the topics of unwanted pregnancies, abortion and macho men's sex drive. Wow. Bizarre topics to chat about with your grandma! I found out that she is pro-life, believing that prevention is better than termination. On this note, she believes that to prevent a pregnancy both partner's need to be on board; and when fertile days are approaching the man has to be responsible and respect his wife's wishes to abstain. This is where the macho men bit came in; basically she said in those days (which I'm sure still happens today), many men just did not respect their wives and when they wanted sex, they did. We both agreed that this was not only disrespectful, but a violation of her rights. She told me my grandpa was always a gentleman and truly treated her with love and respect (well that's good to know!). Some pretty heavy conversation topics, I'd say. But I got to find out more about my grandma's experiences and her beliefs.

I really enjoy these chats. The storyteller in me can't pass these opportunities up.

On a lighter note, today's chat made me a bit nostalgic for the surprise baby I'd like to have. Wow, did I just really say that! Ah well. I truly don't think a surprise pregnancy is in the works for me. I know my body too well. Plus I know it doesn't like to get pregnant easily. But who knows. Maybe it will happen one day without much thought or struggle on our part. Heck, it would only balance things out, I think. It can't hurt to daydream about it. Maybe it will happen. When the time is right...


  1. What a neat conversation! Here's to hoping you get that surprise baby someday.

  2. I alwys wished for a suprise baby too. And yet with 7 years of no contraceptives...we have not been surprised at all.


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