Namaste

Welcome to the October 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Instilling a Healthy Self-Image
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared confessions, wisdom, and goals for helping children love who they are. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Came across this picture the other day
I thought it was so appropriate for this month's carnival!

"I'm not beautiful. I'm ugly."

Every time I hear her say that, my heart breaks.

She's only 6 years old. And already, somewhere, somehow she's picked that up.

Don't get me wrong, she doesn't go around saying this all the time.

But I do notice when she's having a hard time emotionally, or if we've had a particularly rough day, she's more prone to the negative self-talk.

Usually, it's also accompanied with things like: "You don't love me" or "I don't love you."...you get the idea.

And I believe it's usually related to feeling scared, unsure or upset in some way.

I tend to react the same way when I'm having a hard time, but I've contemplated the idea that perhaps this isn't normal behaviour for a teensy girl.

But then I remember the world we live in.

And what's not normal is what our teensy girls are exposed to on a regular basis.

Everywhere we go, we are exposed to images of women as sex symbols, depicting today's supposed standard of "beautiful". Magazine covers at the grocery store. DVD and CD covers on display racks. Movie posters. Floor to ceiling poster ads for clothing stores as you walk through the mall. Not to mention, the images of women in bra stores.

We may not even realize we are being exposed to these images. It's not like we go around saying, "Oh there's another image portraying a woman as a sex symbol and which is meant for me to subconsciously file as what is considered "beautiful" by today's standards." The passive nature of advertisement ensures that you just glance at it, it's in your brain and there it sits waiting for a trigger to remind you of it.

Perhaps the trigger is when someone comments on your "funny" clothes, or your "different" hair, or when someone comment on your physical appearance without really knowing you,without mentioning or bothering to find out about all your other personality traits or skills.

And if you are already a grown-up who has had to work through all this and somehow managed to come out the other end with a healthy self-esteem, then these images may not affect you as much. You may think, "Wow, she's gorgeous" or "Nice, I look just like her!"

But that's hardly all of us. For some reason or another, many of us do sometimes feel "un-beautiful". But is this something that begins at 6 years old? And if so, why?

I will admit that I often look at my daughter and think to myself, "Holy shit, she is so beautiful. I hope she doesn't turn into a "mean girl". I hope she doesn't let it "go to her head". I hope she has good skin when she's a teenager. I hope her nose doesn't get too big. I hope she is a healthy weight...."

{Thankfully, I have never, ever let these thoughts slip past my speaking filter.}

And I catch myself. And I step back for a moment and reflect on my thoughts. And I decide I want it better, for me and for my daughters.

I want them to know people are beautiful for many more reasons that the way they look. I want them to be able to see beyond appearances, at the person within.

Namaste. The light in me sees the light in you.

I want them to know they are beautiful. Not because of the way they look, but because of their hearts, full of love, and joy and compassion. Because they are intelligent, thoughtful and kind. Because they care. Because they are exactly who they are.

I want to help them build a positive self-image in a grassroots sort of way.

As an infant, I tended to her needs, I accepted her, I held her close, I loved her.

As a toddler, I believed in her, I encouraged her, I taught her and I listened to her.

As a preschooler, I guided her and I let her explore and lead the way in her learning and interests.

And now as a school-aged kiddo, I continue to do all of the above, and I can see how her little personality has grown and thrived and how she knows she is loved.

But sadly, I can also see how societal influences are beginning to creep their way in...and the questions she asks, and the comments she sometimes make, reflect that she is picking up on certain things.

I just hope that our connection and our relationship continues to be the place she returns to, that she finds safe and accepting.

Even though it breaks my heart to hear her say "I'm not beautiful", to me it's also a sign that she does feel safe with me. That she does feel she can tell me anything, that I will listen, give her space to let it all out and not just try to cover it up with a "yes you are, look at yourself" and move on. And that she knows I am there to help her work that all out.

It is my greatest wish that my children know that to me they are beautiful and loved and accepted, always and forever, no matter what.

I know all I can do is love her, believe in her and accept her and hope that's enough to one day send her out into the real world.

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon October 9 with all the carnival links.)

• Why I Walk Around Naked — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she embraces her own body so that her daughter might embrace hers.
• What I Am Is Not Who I Am — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses her views on the importance of modeling WHO she is for her daughter and not WHAT she sees in the mirror.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Verbs vs. Adjectives — Alisha at Cinnamon & Sassafras tries hard to compliment what her son does, not who he is.
• The Naked Family — Sam at Love Parenting talks about how nudity and bodily functions are approached in her home.
• How She'll See Herself — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis discusses some of the challenges of raising a daughter in our culture and how she's hoping to overcome them.
• Self Esteem and all it's pretty analogies — Musings from Laura at Pug in the Kitchen on what she learned about self-esteem in her own life and how it applies to her parenting.
• Beautiful — Tree at Mom Grooves writes about giving her daughter the wisdom to appreciate her body and how trying to be a role model taught Tree how to appreciate her own.
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do: Nurturing A Healthy Body Image — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs is changing perceptions about her body so that she may model living life with a positive, healthy body image for her three young daughters.
• Some{BODY} to Love — Kate Wicker has faced her own inner demons when it comes to a poor body image and even a clinical eating disorder, and now she wants to help her daughters to be strong in a world that constantly puts girls at risk for losing their true selves. This is Kate's love letter to her daughters reminding them to not only accept their bodies but to accept themselves as well in every changing season of life.
• They Make Creams For That, You Know — Destany at They Are All of Me writes about celebrating her natural beauty traits, especially the ones she passed onto her children.
• New Shoes for Mama — Kellie of Our Mindful Life, guest posting at Natural Parents Network, is getting some new shoes, even though she is all grown up…
• Raising boys with bodily integrity — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants her boys to understand their own bodily autonomy — so they'll respect their own and others'.
• Sowing seeds of self-love in our children — After struggling to love herself despite growing up in a loving family, Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting has suggestions for parents who truly want to nurture their children's self-esteem.
• Subtle Ways to Build a Healthy Self-Image — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM discusses the little things she and her husband do every day to help their daughter cultivate a healthy self-image.
• On Barbie and Baby Bikinis: The Sexualization of Young Girls — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger finds it difficult to keep out the influx of messages aimed at her young daughters that being sexy is important.
• Undistorted — Focusing on the beauty and goodness that her children hold, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children watches them grow, loved and undistorted.
• Off The Hook — Arpita at Up, Down and Natural sheds light on the journey of infertility, and how the inability to get pregnant and stay pregnant takes a toll on self image…only if you let it. And that sometimes, it feels fantastic to just let yourself off the hook.
• Going Beyond Being An Example — Becky at Old New Legacy discusses three suggestions on instilling healthy body image: positivity, family dinners, and productivity.
• Raising a Confident Kid — aNonymous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways she's trying to raise a confident daughter and to instil a healthy attitude to appearance and self-image.
• Instilling a Healthy Self Image — Laura at This Mama's Madness hopes to promote a healthy self-image in her kids by treating herself and others with respect, honesty, and grace.
• Stories of our Uniqueness — Casey at Sesame Seed Designs looks for a connection to the past and celebrates the stories our bodies can tell about the present.
• Helping My Boy Build a Healthy Body Image — Lyndsay at ourfeminist{play}school offers readers a collection of tips and activities that she uses in her journey to helping her 3-year-old son shape a healthy body image.
• Eat with Joy and Thankfulness: A Letter to my Daughters about Food — Megan at The Boho Mama writes a letter to her daughters about body image and healthy attitudes towards food.
• Helping Our Children Have Healthy Body Images — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares information about body image, and her now-adult daughter tells how she kept a healthy body image through years of ballet and competitive figure skating.
• Namaste — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how at barely 6 years old, her daughter has begun to say, "I'm not beautiful." And while it's hard to listen to, she also sees it as a sign her daughter is building her self-image in a grassroots kind of way.
• 3 Activities to Help Instill a Healthy Self-Image in Your Child — Explore the changing ideals of beauty, create positive affirmations, and design a self-image awareness collage. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares these 3 ideas + a pretty affirmation graphic you can print and slip in your child's lunchbox.
• Beautiful, Inside and Out — It took a case of adult-onset acne for Kat of MomeeeZen to find out her parenting efforts have resulted in a daughter that is truly beautiful, inside and out.
• Mirroring Positive Self Image for Toddlers — Shannon at GrowingSlower reflects on encouraging positive self image in even the youngest members of the family.
• How I hope to instill a healthy body image in my two girls — Raising daughters with healthy body image in today's society is no small task, but Xela at The Happy Hippie Homemaker shares how choosing our words carefully and being an example can help our children learn to love their bodies.
• Self Image has to Come from Within — Momma Jorje shares all of the little things she does to encourage healthy attitudes in her children, but realizes she can't give them their self images.
• Protecting the Gift — JW from True Confessions of a Real Mommy wants you to stop thinking you need to boost your child up: they think they are wonderful all on their own.
• Learning to Love Myself, for my Daughter — Michelle at Ramblings of Mitzy addresses her own poor self-image.
• Nurturing An Innate Sense of Self — Marisa at Deliberate Parenting shares her efforts to preserve the confidence and healthy sense of self they were born with.
• Don't You Love Me, Mommy?: Instilling Self-Esteem in Young Children After New Siblings Arrive — Jade at Seeing Through Jade Glass But Dimly hopes that her daughter will learn to value herself as an individual rather than just Momma's baby
• Exercising is FUN — Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work talks about modeling for her children that exercising is FUN and good for body and soul.
• Poor Little Chicken — Kenna at A Million Tiny Things gets her feathers ruffled over her daughter's clothing anxiety.
• Loving the skin she's in — Mama Pie at Downside Up and Outside In struggles with her little berry's choice not to celebrate herself and her heritage.
• Perfect the Way I Am — Erika at Cinco de Mommy struggles — along with her seven-year-old daughter — at telling herself she's perfect just the way she is.

What About Us? A Poem About Birth

Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.
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I gave birth to my sweet baby Elsa by cesarean last August. {My son Isaac was born by cesarean in July of 2009--a whole other story!}. After Elsa's birth there was a moment of peace and clarity in which all was well. But it didn't last long. Soon I was overcome by feelings of failure...of sadness of anger. It was a lot. And it didn't help that wherever I looked I was faced with reminders of the experience I didn't have. I felt like there was a void of understanding. That no one understood how I felt. After all, I had my happy, healthy baby in my arms. I felt like I was being judged from both directions. On the one hand, I had the physicians see me as the poor Mama who had to go through a full trial of labour only to end up, disappointingly, with a cesarean. Why hadn't I just had a booked cesarean, it would have been so much easier...? On the other hand, I had the natural birth community doling out warnings and cautions against cesareans...quoting the safety of VBACs and encouraging women to consider that route.

But what about us? What about the women who wanted a VBAC, who tried everything they could to accomplish it and then could not?

Then I realized all it took was me being able to open up. There are and there have been many before me that have felt this way. But it has been hard to open up...to talk about this.

I have been healing...slowly, but surely. I am grateful to my friends and my family who have supported me and continue to support me. I thank all the mothers who, like me, want to help change the way our society sees birth. That instead of comparing or judging each other, we support each other.

In the end, whether our babies are born vaginally or by cesarean, with or without drugs or interventions....we, the women need to own birth. Our births. We need to harness the power of birth and share it with each other.

I want that moment of clarity and peace again. And I know I will get it back soon.

I wrote this poem one day in the midst of all my feelings. Thanks for reading.

***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)

• I Had A C-Section. So What! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama rewrites her birth story now that she has worked through the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment of not having the “perfect” birth.
• The Perfect Birth — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on how a birth can be far from what we imagined, but still perfect.
• Own Your Birth: My Hope For All Expectant Moms — Andrea at Tales of Goodness shares how she owned her birth spiritually (while navigating it physically) in order to have a joyous experience.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: My Birth Experience — It wasn't what Lily at Witch Mom wanted, but it was everything she needed.
• The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE — Shannon at GrowingSlower wants women considering natural birth to know painless births are possible.
• Reflections on Jemma's Birth ... 20 Months Later — It took a second pregnancy for That Mama Gretchen to fully embrace her first birth experience.
• Loving My Unnatural Birth Experience — Erika at Cinco de Mommy cherishes her very first birth experience, in all its unnatural glory!
• Be Careful What you Wish for in Birth — Amber at Strocel.com had two births, and it was the one that went to plan that she struggled with embracing.
• Redeeming an unexpected hospital transfer — Lauren at Hobo Mama looks back at her first, interrupted home-turned-hospital birth, and finds the beauty in what happened.
• All of it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen had to learn to embrace the whole experience of birth even though it meant being naked . . . with an audience.
• Birthing Dreams & Realities — Momma Jorje never had a "dream birth," but she wouldn't change a thing about her births.
• Memories of Birth: Calm Amidst the Storm — While neither of her children's births had been quite what she expected, Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife cherishes one moment in particular from each of her birth experiences.
• Embracing Our Birth Stories — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares a sensitive post on her recent birth which both did and didn't go 'to plan', and writes about the journey of coming to terms with the good and the bad.
• Two Beautiful Births — Sheila at A Gift Universe remembers how her mother brought out the beauty in each of her children's births, and tries to do the same with her sons' birth stories.
• Embracing My Supernatural ChildBirth Experiences... — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares her fond memories on both her supernatural childbirth experiences
• Embracing the Hospital Birth Experience — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction believes that sometimes a medicated, induced hospital birth is the right choice for a natural parent.
• Carnival: Embracing Your Birth Experience — Stephanie at The Other Baby Blog embraces the birth experience from a paleobiologist's point of view and takes a look at how humans defy their anatomy.
• Reflections on My First Birth and Preparing for a Second — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares the strength she didn't realize she had until she gave birth to her son.
• becoming a mama - embracing my birth experience — Meegs at A New Day remembers the birth of her daughter Gwenivere, and the empowered feeling it left her with.
• What About Us? A Poem About Birth — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares a poem she wrote about healing from an unexpected and emotionally painful birth experience.
• Be a Man: One Father's View of Birth — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares her husband's advice to other fathers and partners.
• A Birth Monologue — Kat at MomeeeZen shares a monologue she wrote during the process of healing from her birth experiences.
• Forgiveness: My Birth Journey — Leah at The Crunchy Farm Baby discusses what happens when her planned homebirth doesn't end up the way she wanted, and explains her journey of forgiving herself for losing that "perfect" birth.
• Patching together a perfect birth — KrissyFair at Think Mama, Think learned that sometimes a perfect birth happens in pieces.
• Celebrating and Sharing the Possibilities of Perfect Birth — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle joyfully shares details of her perfect births and wishes to inspire a more positive cultural expectation about birth.
• Instinct - Embracing Your Birth Experience — Laura at Laura's Blog reflects on instinctual moments during and after the births of her two daughters.
• I was Foolish Then — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes how foolish lack of preparation for childbirth led to a feeling of powerlessness and fear, but that in the end she had her baby in her arms, and that's one thing she can celebrate.
• Sometimes no plan is the best plan — Tat at Mum in search contemplates that maybe she doesn't need a birth plan for her upcoming birth.
• Disturbing the peace — Kenna at Million Tiny Things thought she would be a calm, quiet baby-haver. Ha!
• Accepting the Unexpected During Birth — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM imagined herself laboring on a birthing ball but she never imagined where she'd really be most comfortable when the time came...
• Sacred This Time, Too — Kimber at The Single Crunch learned enough to know that the way she birthed wasn't they way she wanted to; but she also knew to enjoy it for what it was.
• The Birth Partner: A Great Natural Labor Companion — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger thinks that the secret to her pleasant natural labors was having a great support system.
• the Best Thing About My Labor Experience — Crunchy Con Mommy realizes that amidst all the things that seemed to go wrong with her labor, the love and support of her husband was the one thing she could always count on!
• Your Birth Was My Favorite — Dulce de leche describes some of the highlights from each of her four births and explains why despite the differences, they are all her favorites.
• Birth Story: Part One - Moon on a Stick! — Gentle Mama Moon tells the first part of her birth story to share some of the delight of labouring at home.
• Embracing My Birth Experience by Sharing My Birth Story — Dionna at Code Name: Mama made peace with her first birth by sharing the story with her son.
• Focusing on the Beauty of Birth — Julia at A Little Bit of All of It shares the beautiful aspects of her birth center water birth.
• A Joyful Induced Delivery — Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work notes the meditations and perspective that helped her achieve an unmedicated birth despite being induced for medical reasons.
• Finding Joy in an Imperfect Childbirth Experience — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells what she learned from her two very different childbirth experiences.
• What's to like about a c-section? — Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is glad she her second child at home, but she also cherishes much about the c-section she had four years earlier.
• What Story Will I Tell? — Rachael at The Variegated Life realizes that the way she tells the story of her second child's birth matters — and could be exhilarating.
• I Quietly Put My Hopes to Rest E — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her emotional ups and downs with the highly intervened birth of her special needs daughter, Bella.
• Tale of Six Births — Jessica at Instead of Institutions appreciates that unique challenges and joys of each of her births.
• Labouring naturally: nature’s gift — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the most beautiful, spiritual aspect of the labour of her son, the first stages along a bumpy road to giving birth.
• All The Woman I Am. — Lindsay at This Woman's Work shares a poem about letting go and surrendering during the thralls of labor.
• A twin birth story: embracing the unexpected — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her twin birth experience and how she found the silver lining when faced with preterm labor, premature birth, and a two-week NICU stay.
• Giving Birth With Eminem — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how fiery rap music contributed to an empowered homebirth with her third baby.
• Two Different Births — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how she learned from her first birth experience and how to trust yourself and your body.
• Embracing Our Potential: Birth as a Metaphor — Sheila from A Living Family guest posts at Natural Parents Network and expresses how birth has served as a metaphor to help her through other experiences in life.
• Little Sister's Birth Story: Our VBAC Adventure — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama describes the recent birth story of her baby girl, her pride in an epidural-free VBAC, and how her story isn't exactly the birth experience she had planned for.
• A Journey in Birth Confidence — Shannon at The Artful Mama shares her experiences with labor during both of her sons' births.

A Tub Full of Kids

Welcome to the April 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Personal Care
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.

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One of my favorite things about the evenings in our home is bathtime! When we welcomed our first baby into our family we began the tradition of doing bath as part of the bedtime routine. And to this day, almost 6 years later, the kiddos still enjoy spending time splishing and splashing in the water. We don't necessarily wash and scrub every day, we do a general cleaning of the common grimy parts {typically, legs covered in marker--yes, we have an artist who thinks his own legs are better than paper, dirty little feet and sticky little hands}, but mostly it's about them having fun, spending some time playing together and relaxing them in preparation for bed. I have noticed that the kiddos do a lot of bonding through play in the bath. They practice sharing, teamwork and exercising their imaginations...I love overhearing their dialogue as they create exciting and intricate games. Like the other night they were playing mermaids and sharks {guess who was the shark!?} and my heart melted as I overheard their play dialogue. Even little Elsa is now part of the fun! She loves the bath, but she loves playing with her sis and bro even more!

I also think bathtime is an important way to teach them about water safety and bathroom safety.

Like when...
Isaac started getting in and out of the tub with slippery limbs...
Maddie wanted to practice holding her breath underwater...
Both of them decided to experiment and splashed water all over the bathroom floor creating the craziest slip hazard ever!

As with anything to do with kiddos full of emotions, there are sometimes unpleasant bathtimes, but they have been few and far between. I think deep down my kiddos are part water creatures--because the most common problem we have is them not wanting to get out of the tub!

I love seeing the bathtub full of kiddos. It's impossible to put into words how amazingly blessed and grateful and beyond happy it makes me to see them all in there together having fun!

Moments I'm sure I will look back on and miss...

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)

• Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub — Bath time is more than soap and water! That Mama Gretchen shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.
• This is How We Take a Bath — Shannon at GrowingSlower shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.
• How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.
• Baby bath time and skin care — Ursula Ciller shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.
• Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!
• Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun — Amy at Presence Parenting shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.
• Caring for kids' curls — Lauren at Hobo Mama tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.
• Playing in the Rain — Jorje of Momma Jorje loves how her family has come to make a family event of showering!
• The Cleansing Power of the Football — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.
• Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic" — Megan at The Boho Mama has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!
• For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More — Kadiera at Our Little Acorn finds less cleaning is better.
• Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! — Lyndsay at Our Feminist {Play} School discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.
• Hygiene? What hygiene? — Sheila at A Gift Universe confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.
• Confused About Chemicals? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.
• Clipping Those Talons — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.
• Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, Authentic Parenting explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.
• Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth! — Mudpiemama shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.
• Self Care and the Spirited Child — Amy at Toddler In Tow shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.
• Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue — Dulce de leche guest posting at Natural Parents Network explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.
• 15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures — Dionna at Code Name: Mama is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).
• Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth — Erica at ChildOrganics tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.
• Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.
• Homemade Natural Toothpaste — City Kids Homeschooling hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!
• Bathing Strike Strategies — Crunchy Con Mommy offers her best tips for keeping your little ones clean when they refuse to bathe.
• Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.
• A Tub Full of Kiddos! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!
• The Trials of Tidying My Toddler — Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.
• Wiped Clean — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!
• Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at Our Muddy Boots is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.
• EC: All or Nothing? — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
• Routine Battles — In a guest post at Anktangle, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.
• Redefining Beauty For My Daughter — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.
• Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub — Chrystal at Happy Mothering shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.
• Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.
• 10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath — Kim at life-is-learning gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.
• The Boy With The Long Hair — Liam at In The Now discusses his son's grooming choices.
• Personal Care in a Montessori Home — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.
• Styling Kids — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is letting her kids decide what to look like.
• Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.
• How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial — Erika at Cinco de Mommy shows you how to clean your children.
• Cleaniliness is next to... dirt — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at Million Tiny Things) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.

I'm a Natural Parent But...I have a Few Confessions

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent — BUT..." Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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I am totally passionate about Natural Parenting. But wait, don't get me wrong...I in no way feel that I am better than parents who do not strive by the Natural Parenting principles or any of that higher-than-thou non-sense...nope. Cause no one's perfect and I am still learning every day. I do not want to be a hypocrite. You know why? Because I do stuff that would probably shock some of you! Hahahaha. This carnival is all about 'fessing up. And here are my biggest Natural Parenting confessions...

• My kiddos eat sugar {more than I'd like them to, and heck and so do I. I love cookies and ice cream and pie and cheesecake. OMG I'm drooling now}!
• My kiddos watch TV without too many time restrictions {and thankfully they don't ask for too much}!
• When teething pain hits or when the kiddos have a fever, cold or other ailment...I don't really hesitate to give them ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Well, maybe I hesitate for a second. Only until recently (after hearing a very interesting and convincing talk by my Naturopath) have I allowed a fever to run it's course. Or at least until they feel too yucky. But for the most part I definitely medicate.
• While we do bedshare with all of our babies, eventually (when they start showing signs of being ready) we transition them to the crib...and we don't look back because it does feel nice to have the bed to ourselves again! But {if you're a regular reader of my blog you'll already know this} we never ever do sleep training!
• We use disposables at night with Isaac {ugggg--that first morning toddler poop is no fun! I dare you to try to clean that sh*t up!}. Can't wait for him to be fully off diapers!
• Oh and I suppose I say shit and fuck a bit too much--not in front of the kiddos, no, that would be catastrophic cause they would repeat it over and over and over! Usually it's in my head or under my breath if I hurt myself {usually getting burned while cooking} and definitely when I'm around my closest friends.  If my kiddos hear me cussing under my breath and ask, "what did you say Mama?" I say "I said Shiiish." So far that's been enough.

Phew. See, I'm not perfect! Hope you don't think any less of me!

I hope the spirit of this carnival brings cohesion, rather than competition. We are all in this parenting thing together. So we can choose to be open-hearted, welcoming of change and supportive of one another...or not.

So now that I've dished...What are the confessions in your closet?
***
This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn't turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys
• I'm a Natural Parent, but...I use medicine! — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that while she hesitates to do so, sometimes she does give her son some medicine when his symptoms get really bad.
• I'm Only Half Planning a Natural Birth — Shannon at The Artful Mama discloses how she is planning her semi-natural hospital birth and still dares to call herself a Natural Parent.
• Why we aren't rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter's carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.
• Musings of an Almost Crunchy Momma — Valerie at Momma in Progress re-examines her list of natural parenting litmus tests.
• Natural Parenting Does Not Equal Perfect Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits to several not-so-natural parenting and lifestyle practices.
• 10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card — Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door discusses why some of her less-than-crunchy practices are better for her family.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... MacNCheese is Awesome. — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy reveals her penchant for some far from healthy eating, cheap food recipes.
• Crunchy on the Inside — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles muses about how the stereotype of a natural parent does not do justice to the very dynamic group that this parenting philosophy attracts.
• My Reality — Megan from The Other Baby Book confesses a few things about her parenting.
• I'm Crunchy But... — Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares confessions on all of her "non" crunchy ways.
• I'm A Natural Parent, But...it took me awhile — It took Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling awhile before fully understanding and appreciating Natural Parenting.
• I Am Not a Perfect Natural Parent — Momma Jorje shares her dirty little secrets as a mostly natural parent.
• Crunchy, But Not Crunchier Than Thou — Instead of comparing yourself to others, Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages you to give yourself permission to be as crunchy as you can for right now.
• I’m a natural parent but…I love bedtimes — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle would never let her children cry-it-out, but she has a selection of other methods to encourage early bedtimes.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... — Lani at Boobie Time Blog believes that following the principles of Natural Parenting doesn't mean you fit a stereotypical mold of societal view.
• Confessions of a Low Supply Mom — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children confesses her insecurities about being a low supply mom.
• I'm a natural parent, but. . . — Not eating her placenta is just one of the ways Ashley at Mama Raw falls short at being a natural parent.
• I'm a Natural Parent But...I have a Few Confessions — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment strives to be a Natural Mama, but wait, she has a few confessions!
• I'm a Natural Parent BUT — Carrie at LoveNotesMama confesses her gratitude for disposable diapers.
• Intestinal Dissection — Melissa from White Noise talks about how imperfection can be beautiful when it is buffered with love.
• How much sugar is too much? — Tat at Mum in Search shares how her no-sugar policy evolved into a balancing act, with the balance point not where she'd like to see it.
• I'm a Natural Parent, but. . . — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about three of her parenting habits that are not super "natural."
• Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as "too crunchy" by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.
• The Natural Parent "Model" — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.
• Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.
• I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.
• I'm a natural parent, but you'd be surprised — Lauren at Hobo Mama confesses to liking diet soda and TV and having lost all her reusable shopping bags.
• I’m a Natural Parent, but…. I don’t shop local — Luschka at Diary of a First Child confesses one of her greatest 'natural' failures - she doesn't shop local and support her community, despite wishing she could.
• Who You Callin' Natural? (a Carnival of Natural Parenting Contribution) — A bit of premise exposition, some tongue-in-cheek filler, and a photographic list of all the ways Embrita Blogging cheats at being natural.
• Dirty Secrets of a Green & Natural Mama (and Why I'm Not Afraid to Share Them!) — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her definition of what it means to be a perfect mama as well as a few of her dirty little secrets.
• Green Mommy Guilt — Jen at Jen and Joey Green talks about how being a perfect Green Mom is overrated.
• Life Coping Devices — Amy at Anktangle discusses two ("non-AP") coping strategies her family has used for getting through difficult times with her son: the pacifier and the stroller.
• We use disposable diapers. There. I said it. — The mama at Our Muddy Boots shares a bed, nurses her 4 year old, is vegetarian, and is committed to homeschooling; but Pampers adorn her child's bottom. Ugh!
• Committed to Cloth, but... — Sheila at A Living Family affirms her love of cloth diapering, despite the draw of disposables.
• Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her "natural parenting" is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.
• Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things

Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause...

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.
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Sure I have had some interactions with parents on playgrounds and the typical parenting stomping grounds regarding things I don't quite agree with...but besides the random ignorant comments, none of these interactions have required anything other than a nod and smile or something said along the lines of "to each their own". Nope, the place where I really need to "work" hard at being mindful about what I say is online. I belong to several online communities and forums, and lets not forget facebook. Ah facebook. The one place where sometimes anything goes. I have seen people lose all form of manners and mindfulness in responding to someone's post or status. I can't even count the number of times I've seen people going at each other, saying very disrespectful things. It's sad really. I strive to be mindful about what I say, partly because of my role as a Parent and Life Coach, and partly because I want to make people receptive to my cause, not make them defensive, which leads to people not even considering whatever point I am trying to get across.

For me interactions with other parents (and anyone, really) come down to three wise phrases:

"Be The Change You Want to See in This World {aka Live By Example}."
"Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated."
"Don't Give Advice Unless You Are Asked For It {because otherwise it will land on deaf ears}."

So all my interactions with my family, friends and even my facebook peeps, stem from that place.

I try to not post a response to anything, or say anything in real-life interactions, before thinking it through, making sure it comes from an authentic, respectful place. Even on topics I'm very passionate about, I think about things first and I always, always try to look at the issue from the other person's perspective--which can be extremely hard sometimes! But, I do this because I understand things better that way and that is what I would want others to do for me.

Most recently, there was a discussion that happened on my wall regarding spanking. I was pleased to see that even though there was some disagreement among those involved, everyone was respectful and stated their opinion in a respectful way. And most importantly in a way that allowed for the potential for personal growth. I am not sure if anyone was converted to the other's point of view, but I do think it made everyone think about the issue more deeply, perhaps even for the first time. It shone the light on a subject and forced people to look. When you respond to something in anger or with defensiveness, you close up...you do not allow for personal growth or self-awareness. When a situation arises and we feel our way of doing things is being judged, many of us are often afraid to go further, so we shut it down. However, if we look a bit deeper we may discover that there is room for improvement, that we might learn something. Accepting our mistakes is a huge accomplishment. If we can get to a point were we realize we were wrong and are willing to do what it takes to make things different, for the better, we have grown leaps and bounds! And what a great lesson for those around us, including our kiddos.

As parents we are given opportunities for personal growth every day...sometimes multiple times a day! And if we accept to take them on we benefit greatly, and so do our kiddos! I think that one of the ultimate experiences for learning as parents comes when we see other parents living by example. When you see a parent being authentic and present in their interactions with their child, you can't help but feel inspired to be more authentic yourself!

So pass it on! Live by example and spread the love!
***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

• How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
• Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
• Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
• When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
• Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
• Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
• The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.
• Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
• Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.
• Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God's Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
• How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles... — Jenny at I'm a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
• Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
• Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
• Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
• Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
• Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
• Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
• Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
• Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
• If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
• Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
• Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.

• Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
• The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
• Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
• Speaking Up For Those Who Can't — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…"
• Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
• Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
• The Thing You Don't Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
• 3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
• Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
• Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.
• Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
• Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
• Have another kid and you won't care — Cassie of There's a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
• Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
• A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
• Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
• Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
• Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
• Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
• Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
• Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
• Explain, Smile, Escape — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
• Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
• Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert's Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

Duh!

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener and gentler. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Isaac 2 1/2 years

Recently, we have been having issues with Isaac acting out physically towards his sisters. It's typically a smack or a pinch, but there have been incidents of biting as well.

Uggg.

At first we thought it had to do with him being two years old. Then when it continued, we thought it had to do with Elsa's arrival and his emotional reaction to no longer being the baby of the house. So we hugged and kissed him more and really made an effort to spend one-on-one time with him.

But when it started getting worse with time, instead of better, we knew something was up and that something had to change.

Quite serendipitously, I came across the blog Super-Protective Factor, and the Hand in Hand Parenting Organization. I posted about it before here.

Reading the info there was like a breath of fresh air. It was new hope for an already frustrated and worried mama.

Isaac needed A LOT of emotional healing.

So we began to heal.

And boy, it was hard.

Mostly because society's mainstream parenting standards don't see "crying" and tantrums as a normal process. Plus, you got to admit that having a screaming child around you is stressful when you have that mindset.

So I had to reevaluate and modify my mindset.

When the topic came up for the January Carnival of Natural Parenting, I knew this would be the topic of my experiment.

Here's what happened.

"Mommy, Can I Help?"

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Preparing to make a cake

I will admit that recently I often don't have the patience to let my kiddos come into the kitchen with me. Mostly, it's because they interfere with my cooking flow...and partly it's because they sure make a mess! It's not that I never let them help out, it's just that it's so much easier to do things myself. Especially these days when my cooking time is so limited. But I do realize that it's so important to have them watch me cook and to help out too. And they do have a great interest in helping out and learning about food preparation. They run in the kitchen when they hear me start clanking pans around and ask in their sweet kiddo voices, "Mommy, can I help?"

The best part of helping out!

So, on days when I make something that's easy for them to help out with {and I'm in a good mood!}, I will give them a kid-friendly part of the recipe to do. I remember when Maddie was just 2 years old {and I had all the time in the world to devote to only her}, she started to help me out in the kitchen. I have this very vivid memory of her helping me put together a lasagna so carefully with her little tiny fingers.

I think it's very important for them to learn not only about food preparation but also safety in the kitchen. Real-life tasks, such as cooking, help kiddos develop common-sense and "real-life smarts", so to speak. Which are, in my opinion, so very important.

I clearly remember Maddie telling me a while ago that she had to help me cook or else she wouldn't ever learn how to cook for herself. And she's right. Who else is going to teach them the tricks of making tortillas? Of building the perfect lasagna? Or of making delicious, chewy {healthy} cookies?

"Yes, I'm going to lick this clean!"

I want my kiddos to be prepared for when they are off on their own. I want them to be able to know where their food comes from and how to make a tasty, healthy meal.

And I don't just focus on teaching Maddie (and one day Elsa). I want Isaac to know just as much about cooking too. Sure, he may not be as interested, but he should still know how to prepare a meal. I'm sure that will come in handy for him one day when he's trying to win over the love of his life!

My mom taught me so much in the kitchen. And she had so much patience with me, or at least that's what I remember!!! And although at the time I didn't realize it, everything she passed on has come to be extremely helpful to me in my kitchen.

All I hope is that I can do the same for my kiddos.




***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
• Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
• Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
• "Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
• Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
• The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
• A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
• The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
• Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
• In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
• Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
• Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
• Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
• Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
• Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
• Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
• My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
• Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
• Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
• Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
• Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
• Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
• The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
• Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
• Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
• Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
• My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
• Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
• Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
• learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.

• The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
• Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a "high-needs" child.
• Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
• Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
• teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
• 5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler's Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
• Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
• How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime... — Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes...
• Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
• How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
• My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
• Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
• The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
• Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children's most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
• Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won't you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
• Grandma Rose's Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
• Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
• Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
• Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
• 10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
• The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
• Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
• 50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
• A 4-year-old's smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
• Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
• Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she's trying to foster her son's trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
• A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.