Monday, October 17, 2011

Random Monday Thoughts

Isaac went down for his nap surprisingly easy. I got him ready, put him in his crib, sang him a song and said "Good Nap, I love you", left his room, heard him say, "No, no, I don't want to go to sleep." but have not heard a peep since. He's a silly boy...he is so tired and fights it most days, but today it was a peaceful event. He's cutting his 2 year molars {finally} and I know that has been contributing to his behaviour recently. On Sunday at nap time, he called out, "Daddy, Daddy, come! Something's happening in here!" and pointed to his mouth. Ken checked and sure enough he has cut the two bottom ones...surely the top ones are on their way too.

We had some dear friends over for supper on Saturday and it was so fun. I always feel slightly embarrassed when people tell me I'm good at being a Mama...and coming from my friend was no exception. I replied, "I'm certainly not perfect. I do lose it sometimes and I have been known to yell." My friend said, "I don't believe it" and asked Maddie lightheartedly, "Does your Mommy yell at you?" She smiled and shook her head and said, "Nope." The truth is I do yell sometimes. Like when Isaac has hit Elsa or Maddie for the umpteenth time or when they get into something I've repeatedly said not to touch. But it melted my heart to hear Maddie saying that I didn't. When I prodded her further on her response she said she felt I never yelled at her. I suppose I interpret this to mean she doesn't feel hurt on those occasions when I have yelled. I don't know what I'm trying to say here...I suppose it's just that this is the first time someone has asked my daughter about me third hand...and it was interesting for me to hear her response of how she views me. Perhaps she was in a good mood and on another occasion if she was asked the same question she would produce a different answer!?!? Who knows, but I do believe and have experienced first hand how much kiddos live in the in that very moment all was well in her little world and she had a Mommy who never yells.

Elsa's been a bit fussy lately. She doesn't settle calmly after her 4am feed and is restless, and I don't get to sleep, even though she's sleeping. It might be gas, but maybe she's teething. She has been very drooly and chewing on her hands like crazy. Who knows! I just hope I can find a trick to help her sleep more peacefully in those early morning hours, because I can't be awake from 4am onward when I have 2 other kiddos to take care of! I'm thinking a bottle of Chamomile tea will be on my nightstand tonight.

I have no idea why I feel this way, but I miss being pregnant. Crazy, I know. This is a topic for a whole other {long} post, but how am I ever going to say and feel I am done having babies? I remember being a little girl and dreaming of the day I would have my own babies. I am so blessed and beyond grateful for my beautiful kiddos, but I don't know how to turn off that innate feeling of wanting to bear and raisechildren. Who or what turns that off? Does it ever turn off?

Well, that's all the time I have. Isaac and Elsa are sleeping {the latter in a ring sling on my chest} so maybe I should try to get some ZZZ's or at least close and rest my eyes for a few minutes.

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