Monday, May 28, 2012

A Typical Day

Welcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with ChildrenThis Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote a peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!
In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied and every one is worth a read.

Wrong information always shown by the media 
Negative images is the main criteria 
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria 
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema 
 Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity 
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality 
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity 
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity 
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under 
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down 
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under 
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found 
Now ask yourself 
 Where is the love?

- Excerpt From:"Where's The Love?" Black Eyed Peas

I love this song. If you really listen to the lyrics, there are a lot of gems in there. The other day I was driving to my weekly breastfeeding support group meeting and this song came on the radio. I had been thinking earlier that day about this whole TIME magazine drama and I thought this song fit perfectly.

For my contribution to this Blog Carnival I want to share what a typical day in my home with my family is like. Where appropriate, I have linked to each of the 8 Attachment Parenting Principles. I've often been asked about some or all of these principles, sometimes it's hard for people to understand what it actually looks like in practice. I hope this post helps answer some of those questions. Just remember, it's not a cookie cutter parenting approach. The premise is the same, but it doesn't look the same within different families. Think of a house: the paint is different, the layout different, the decorations unique, but the foundation is the same. And the foundation is the most important part, because it determines the sturdiness of the house, but everything else depends on it too.

We have been Attachment Parents pretty much from the day our baby girl was born prematurely six years ago. We didn't really plan to parent this way, it kind of came naturally to us...and when we discovered it had a name we said alright, we're not alone and kept going on doing our thing. For our next two babies we did prepare and were more aware and active when it came to their births. Over the years we have built a community, have learned so much and continue to learn: from others and from our children. But most important to us is to remain present, conscious and mindful on our parenting journey because we only get one shot at this. As I've said in a previous post, there is no rewind button. And while we may sometimes get the chance to mend mistakes, for the most part the way we parent, raise and interact with our children leaves a powerful imprint that will be with them for life. So, no pressure, huh! That's is why my hubby and I strive to approach our parenting in the same way we would want to be treated and approached ourselves: with respect, with love and care, knowing that our voices are heard and that we are important.

OK, so what does a typical day look like around here....?

It's morning, around 6:30am. Everyone's asleep. And then...

"Daddy, Mommy, Daddy, Mommy...I have pooooop!"

It's Isaac, he's awake. He sleeps in his own room in his own bed, has been since he was 10 months. Before then he was in our bed, but he started to show signs he wanted his own space, so we acknoledged that and put him in his own room. He never fussed or cried and adjusted well. We knew it was right for him, and for us. We continued to tend to his needs during the night if he called or cried. Everyone was happy.

So, Ken gets out of bed and goes to him. While he changes him they chat about Isaac's night, his dreams and Isaac says, "I love you Daddy."

What a nice way to start the morning.

Shorty after, Miss Maddie wakes up.

The boys go in and say good morning and ask her how her night was. She also sleeps in her own room and bed, and has been since she was 7 months. Same as with Isaac, she started getting fussy and waking up a lot in our bed, so we tried her in her crib and she slept great. That's not to say that if they need extra snuggles or are not feeling well, we cuddle with them in their bed or they are welcome to come into our bed.

Ken asks Maddie what she's going to wear today. She asks what it's like outside and then picks out her clothes. Then they come down and Ken makes breakfast and gets the kiddos settled down to eat.

Where am I?

Still dozing.

Elsa woke up a few times to nurse during the night so any bits of extra sleep will help me make it through the day

But it's not for long. Soon Elsa wakes up too. She cooes and babbles away. She is now 9 1/2 months. 3 weeks ago, she started sleeping in her crib, in our room. And our night sleep has improved dramatically. She was also waking up every hour and sleeping extremely restlessly in between. I had resisted the idea of putting her to sleep in the crib because well, she is most likely my last baby and I did love having her sleeping next to me. Her warmth and smell and the cuddles. Oh I love it! And she needed that when she was smaller. But here's the thing, she was giving me signs it wasn't working for her anymore, so I respected that, like I did with the other two kiddos. And the outcome? A happy baby who sleeps for hours at a time and only wakes up around 2 times to nurse.

After walking Maddie to school me, Isaac and Elsa start our day. The days vary in activities, but not really in routine. It's usually always: activities, playing, snack, walk, lunch, nap, more activites and play, meal prep, eating and then bath and bedtime.

So today, we paint and sing songs, play with cars and eventually he asks for a snack and "a little show". He gets that and I nurse Elsa and put her down for a nap.

Then I figure out what's for supper and take out whatever needs to thaw. I check my email. Then Isaac's show is done and we go back to playing. Or sometimes he helps me bake or cook. On other days we do errands, get groceries, go visit friends, to the museum or the park...on those days, Elsa has naps on the go in the carrier.

Sometimes he has a tantrum or lots of tantrums in the span of the day. Instead of secluding him, I listen and give him space to vent and work out all the gunk he needs to get out. I don't say much, just "I love you" or "I know it's hard, I'm here for you"...eventually he begins to calm down and comes over climbs into my lap and says "Sorry, Mama". When he's calm, we talk about what happened, and why, and about ways he can solve the problem or issue that don't involve hitting, throwing, etc, etc. Slowly but surely he's learning and gaining more and more coping skills.

All is well again and we go back to playing.

The rest of the day involves eating, nap time, cooking, tidying and then Maddie and Ken are home and we have supper, together at the table. We talk about our day and we share the good, the bad, the funny the sad...all about all of us.

After supper we all help clean up the table. Then the kiddos play together while Ken and I finish up cleaning the kitchen. At this point Elsa is usually still munching away on her supper or is also playing with the kiddos. Ken and I now get a chance to chat about whatever things we need to discuss that we didn't get a chance to at the dinner table, and because the kiddos are playing they leave us alone, unless someone needs help or has a question!

If they do interrupt, they both say, "Excuse me" now. It took a while, but they got the hang of it now. It's pretty cute. And when they say that, we say "just a minute" if the adult conversation is at an important part and if it's not, then we pause our conversation and turn our attention to the kiddo(s) who need something.

Once the kitchen is clean, Ken usually takes the kiddos for a walk or to play like only a Daddy can...tumbles, wrestling and crazy acrobatics! They all have a blast. And I get a few moments of Mommy peace and quiet time. I usually read or blog or catch up on emails or chat on the phone with friends, depending on the day. Some days I go to yoga or out to see friends.

Then it's bath time. While they are in the tub Ken stays close by and has a few minutes of one-on-one time with Elsa while the older ones play for a bit. Then she gets in the tub and they all get washed.

Once they are clean, it's story time and snack time. And I have a quick shower.

Then they brush their teeth and get in bed.

I sing them each their own special song and kiss them goodnight. I tell them to have beautiful, fun dreams and they tell me what they will dream about. Then I give them more kisses and hugs, tell them I love them and the Ken says Goodnight too.

I nurse Elsa and she usually dozes off. I rock her for a while and then lay her down to sleep.

It's about 8pm now. All three of them asleep, Ken and I have the rest of the night to chat, catch up on work, watch TV, or whatever we need to do. We usually always stay up late. It's something we always say we need to change, but for now we do. We got to sleep around 1030pm. Elsa wakes up to nurse around 1am...then 3am...and sometimes 5am. She's up for the day around 7am.

Then it all starts again.

This is our life.

It's busy, it's wonderful, it's hard sometimes. We don't have all the answers. We aren't perfect, our kiddos aren't perfect, but it is not about that...

It is really quite simple...

...through it all we listen, we care, we respect and we love. Because one day our children will be the parents, the partners, the grown-ups, living their lives, interacting in the world, going through it all again with their own beautiful children.

Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)
  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it's like to NOT feel 'mom enough' and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless... — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares why 'extended' breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.


  1. This is awesome - I love that you've connected your day to the AP principles in such a common sense way. Thank you!!

    1. Thanks Dionna :-) I like to say AP is not rocket science ;-)

  2. Awesome! I love how “typical” your day is. I think others reading your post will see that your parenting day is not that much different than theirs. Because at the end of the day, we have another day of the same old same old to do again!

    I also enjoyed the link to the BEP lyrics. Great song and it really does go well with this whole AP wars thing that has erupted. Clever mama!

    Thanks for being part of the Carnival!

    1. Thanks Jennifer! I do love me some BEP :-)

  3. loved this post and up until recently I didn't know there was a name for the type of parenting my husband and I practice. we have a 2 and 4 yr old, and I guess by school of thought, we are practicing attachment parenting.
    i feel blessed to have such a reciprocal respectful relationship with my chldren. I am a big part of who they are, but they are also a b part of who I have become.

    thanks for sharing you typical day!

    1. Thanks! I love how you said this: "I am a big part of who they are, but they are also a b part of who I have become"
      So true! Your kiddos are lucky to have you as their Mama :-)


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