Monday, February 12, 2007

I feel...

I don't know how to describe what it is I feel. Let me start at the beginning. Yesterday, as I was nursing my daughter I realized something was off. I checked her mouth and sure enough, there is a new tooth cutting it's way thru her tender gums. I felt excitement, empathy and most of all a sense of...well sadness. I know, I know, I have talked about this a lot. But I really, really am sad that my little baby is getting older. And well the teeth are a true sign that it is actually happening. This feeling became even greater when as I was looking through old pictures I found these pictures of our baby...when she looked like an infant...a brand new little human.

And sadly, the reason I feel so upset is because I already almost forget what she was like back then. Over the last 8 1/2 months the memory of Maddie has become one, blended together as she has grown and developed. To me, she's always been the same. The same sweet little baby. But looking at those pictures I realize she is so different. Every day she changes. Every day she develops more and more into the little person she is going to be. But I take comfort in the fact that every day, I get to know her more and more. I love the feeling of knowing I know my daughter better than anyone. I love knowing I can meet her needs. And I pray so hard I may always be able to do that.

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