Why it's all worth it...

We have been having a tough time lately. Me and Ken are tired. Tired is an understatement. We are exhausted. Isaac's sleep has taken a turn for the worst and it is spiralling out of control! I am pretty sure he is going through a growth spurt again, which is fine, but he has added to the mix some behavioural antics which are making putting him down to sleep impossible. He resists sleep even though he is exhausted, he kicks his little legs like crazy, refuses his soother, won't let me rock him or nurse him. So what can I do!? Then he starts crying like crazy. Then I go through all the above things again to just find something that works! He will eventually let me nurse him or rock him with his soother and he will eventually (sometimes after an hour or more!) go to sleep. Oh my. I am just so tired and being tired and dealing with a difficult non-sleeping baby makes for a not so patient mommy. But I am determined to help things make a turn for the best. Tonight I nursed him until he was full and then I put him in his crib and stayed there comforting him, stroking his head, rubbing his belly, popping his soother back in..all while he fussed and cried. Eventually he got so tired that he took the soother and started to drift off. He kept opening his eyes to check if I was still there and finally after about an hour he went to sleep. I know that by overstimulating him by trying everything in the book to settle him we were making it worse. He just wants to sleep and just needs help in realizing he can do it and that he wants to do it. I will continue, of course, to be there for him and comfort him, after all he is just a baby. But there is a time and a place for everything and waking up to eat and then not wanting to go back to sleep at 4am is a no-go in this house! Ahhh...in all honesty I had forgotten the dirty details of baby-sleep from Maddie's days as an infant. But it is all worth it. Just looking at what a beautiful little girl she's turned into makes me pull through and realize that these early life moments are so formative and important for little kiddos. This is the time when they create and form bonds and trust with their caregivers. And tonight Maddie melted my heart and reminded me why it's all worth it. We were talking about the new movie "The Blind Side" and Ken said something about the guy not having a home and not having a bed to sleep in. She looked quite shocked and asked why. I explained that some people don't have homes, don't have enough money to have a house or buy food...Then she turned to me and said, "Mommy, we can give them our money." We have never really talked about this with her, so for her to make that statement really shows she is such a caring little girl. Moments like that make you feel so proud as a parent. To heck with a few months of sleep deprivation, it will all be a romanticized baby memory in a few years time.