Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Mind {De}Clutter

It's a very liberating thing to go about your business without the voices of doubt deflating your confidence. But to get to the point of being immune to other's opinions, advice or judgement, we need to be our own advocates and become informed. We also need to question the status-quo and ask ourselves "why?". As a regular why-asker, I am often surprised by the number of people who are doing something (often times painstakingly) simply because that's the way they were told to do it and they have followed the instructions without any questions. Not even a simple, "is this really for me?" or "is this really benefiting me?" I will acknowledge at this point that sometimes you can ask too many questions. Yes, also, sometimes it's better to not ask questions. But I am talking here about life decisions. Parenting choices and about things that have an impact on our and our children's overall well-being. Plus, I also ask this: who came up with the notion that asking questions is wrong?

Perhaps the tyrant? The one in charge, who doesn't want things to change?

Asking questions should be a skill we teach our children. We should encourage them to always learn as much as they can. To never take things for granted and to seek ways to improve things.

If we never ask questions about the way things are I shudder to think of what kind of society we would be.

When we ask questions and become confident in a choice, we let go of the mind clutter that would otherwise make us feel unsure.

I encourage you to look at your life right now and see if there are any areas in which this might apply. Are you taking a situation for granted? Are you doing something without really knowing why, but know there might be another way? What are you going to do about it?

If you are so inclined to read a personal anecdote, here goes.

This is an issue that is a few months old, but I finally am in a spot to share (not because it's super secretive or anything, the words just never came to me before today).

As you may know, Isaac and sleep were not two words you associated well together. Unless you said "poor" or "lack of" in there somewhere. I cannot even count the number of times I was encouraged to sleep train him. This advice came from many sources: strangers, physician, Naturopath (not my regular one), books, TV shows, magazines...the list goes on.

If I had not been me and filled with the experiences and beliefs I hold, I probably would have given it a try. And I would have probably persisted further than my intuition would have allowed me in the hopes that these "experts" where right, and that my baby would finally sleep for longer stretches. I also would not have taken the steps I took to find out why he wasn't sleeping well. And we would still have a little boy suffering the pain of a food intolerance.

I did not follow this advice however, and instead followed my intuition. This voice of inner wisdom was telling me what it has told mothers for millions of years: hold your baby, nurture your baby, listen to your baby, protect your baby, be there for your baby...be present. After that is done there's not much that won't fall into place.

Of course I could go on and on writing about this {Attachment Parenting, following your intuition, trusting yourself}, after all it is a passion of mine. But instead I will leave it at that. I will say, however, for those that are wondering if I'm still walking around like a zombie, that in fact I am not. The "sleep (or lack thereof)" category is long overdue for an update that should read "sleep, finally!" (unless there is a virus or teething in the house).

And if you do want to hear about this and more you can attend the very first {to my knowledge} Attachment Parenting workshop in Halifax, where I will be spreading Attachment Parenting knowledge, info and personal experiences, being held this Friday Oct 22, 2010 at Nurtured. Check this out for more details.

Bon nuit mon amis!

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